Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Haha sorry Lavvy but your on your own mate, you left me behind about 3 weeks ago. I'm all joked out.

You are Joe Biden and I claim my £5....

 

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[kashmir]

I knew he reminded me of someone
View attachment 126042

 

[Lavinda Past]

Three nuns die in a car accident. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.”

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren."

And ‘poof’ she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna and ‘poof’ she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Alberta Pipalini."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who ?", he asks.

"Alberta Pipalini," replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says, "No sister, the paper says it was the 'Alberta Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months. "

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 126032

That means the average bloke is lasting just under 90 seconds. So it's not just me then.

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

That means the average bloke is lasting just under 90 seconds. So it's not just me then.

Is that duration allowing for multi-tasking?

 

[Lavinda Past]