Joke thread

[knuckles]

 

[knuckles]

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Currently I can't think of any new electricity puns, although I remain positive that something will spark a lightbulb moment in my head...

You should ask our goalkeeper.
I'm guessing he knows a few.

 

[manclad]

Remember bus conductors and conductresses?

This conductress was going round asking for fares. She asks one guy and he says "Give us a wank, love". She says "I beg your pardon?" He says "Give us a wank, love".
She says "Well, the inspector's getting on soon, and we'll see what he has to say".

The inspector jumps on and says to her "Everything all right?" She replies "No, it's not all right. Every time I ask this chap here for his fare he says 'Give us a wank, love'. What shall I do?"

The inspector replies "Oh, toss him off at the next stop...."

Bernard Manning joke from the 70s --

Bus driver and bus conductress get married and on their wedding night she gets undressed and says to him -
"Room for one on top".
And after they finished he said -
" You never told me that there was standing room inside" !!!!

 

[bladdered]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 48134

Still makes me laugh after all these years.

 

[BlueMoonRisin’]

Anthony Martial turned up for pre-season training at Old Trafford yesterday. The security guard asked him - " what have you got in your rucksack?". Martial replied -"some drugs counterfeit tickets and a gun" ... "Thank fuck for that, i thought you'd brought your boots!"

 

[i kne albert davy]

Anthony Martial turned up for pre-season training at Old Trafford yesterday. The security guard asked him - " what have you got in your rucksack?". Martial replied -"some drugs counterfeit tickets and a gun" ... "Thank fuck for that, i thought you'd brought your boots!"

Page 1214 don't half want it's joke back :-)

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

Page 1214 don't half want it's joke back :-)

Jokes about the rags should be regaled over and over again

 

[i kne albert davy]

Jokes about the rags should be regaled over and over again

Nah nothings funnier than actually watching them lately.