Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

One for the ladies...

 

[blue b4 the moon]

View attachment 126075

That's a bit worrying

 

[Lavinda Past]

That's a bit worrying

Exactly.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

What’s the difference between glandular fever and herpes?

You get glandular fever from snatching a kiss…

 

[Lavinda Past]

Middle aged lady is shopping for jewellery. She sees a ring she likes and as she bends down for a closer look lets out a startling fart.
Hoping nobody heard, she asks the jeweller how much the ring costs.
The jeweller replies "well my love, if you farted when you saw it you're gonna shit yourself when you hear the price!".

 

[mrcunny]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[bluethrunthru]

To paraphrase Hames O'Brien - O

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[kippaxneil]

Historically, Karl Marx is a famous philosopher but no-one ever mentions his sister, Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.

 

[Uwe Already]

I phoned the tinnitus helpline earlier. It just kept ringing!

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

An Inspection team visits a mental asylum

Director shows them around. Eventually they stumble across the room with a single patient sitting on a bed and laughing.

"Why is he laughing?" Inspector asks.

"Oh, that's Carl, he tells jokes to himself" Director responds

"And why did he stop laughing?"

"He'd already heard that one"