Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Two old blokes are going into town on the bus.

They see two dogs humping in a park. One guy looks at the other and says, "I'd give anything to do it to my missus like that."

The other guy says, "Oh, that's easy... just give her three or four brandies first."

The blokes bump ino each other a few days later.

"Well, did you get to do it to your missus doggie style?"

"Yes, but it took ten brandies."

"TEN! How come so many?"

Well, it took four just to get her into the park."

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Twice.


So good they named it twice.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 134694

Took me a while....

 

[JASR]

Took me a while....

Oh it’s you in the orange top is it.

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

This is a genuine review on TripAdvisor from the hotel we stayed in last week in Rhodes. The group of lads they are referring to is me and my mates.

 

[Lavinda Past]

An army is on the move. Marching, marching, marching, day after day in the hot sun. Hot, sweaty, no rest, day after day.

The captain rounds them up to speak to them. “Today,” he says, “is a special day! Today we’re all going to change our underwear!”

Huge cheer arises from the crowd.

“Okay,” the captain says. He points. “You change with him. You change with him. You change with him . . . “

 

[Bri1975]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

A couple went to marriage counselling... tge wife said to the counsellor, “I’m sick of him taking everything literally.”

The counsellor turned to the husband and said: "Do you know what she means?"

The husband replies: "Yes, it’s a feminine pronoun."

 

[The Light Was Yellow Sir]

A racist, a fascist and a very rich grifter walked into a bar.
Barman says: “Good evening Mr Farage, what can I get you?”

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]