Joke thread

[chris63]

My friends a dwarf and has just lost his job.

He's finding it hard to put food on the table.

 

[Zuriblue]

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Good joke - shame about the apostrophes

I only copied it mate, don't shoot the messenger

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Your friend is a horse?

Yes, a dappled mare.... well spotted :-)

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[ali benarbia's studs]

I recall a former girlfriend's brother doing exactly this as a teenager. Having failed to free himself, he was obliged to tell his parents whereupon his dad drove him to A&E with a blanket over his lap. Following triage, a doctor eventually appeared carrying a pair of pliers and instructed him to grit his teeth while he yanked the zip down. Enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!

Happened to me about 3 times as a kid....the last one was the last....tears to fill a pool.

 

[city saint]

I recall a former girlfriend's brother doing exactly this as a teenager. Having failed to free himself, he was obliged to tell his parents whereupon his dad drove him to A&E with a blanket over his lap. Following triage, a doctor eventually appeared carrying a pair of pliers and instructed him to grit his teeth while he yanked the zip down. Enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!

it happened to me when i was young absoloute fucking agony.nurse said its more common than you would think

 

[Vienna_70]

Dwarves are generally law-abiding people. Most of them are gnome to the authorities.

More specifically, the Gnome Office.

And most of them come from Gnomandsland.

 

[Crouchinho]

 

[oakiecokie]

More specifically, the Gnome Office.

And most of them come from Gnomandsland.

Said the Laughing Gnome (Courtesy of one David Jones aka Mr Bowie.

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Said the Laughing Gnome (Courtesy of one David Jones aka Mr Bowie.

Hahaha, hehehe

 

[Bri1975]

 

[Vienna_70]

Said the Laughing Gnome (Courtesy of one David Jones aka Mr Bowie.

Most definitely one for the FOCs.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Most definitely one for the FOCs.

I can imagine you in scarlet and grey, chuckling away...

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[KS55]

A man goes into the butchers and says, "I'd like a kilo of those piss holes in your window please".
The butcher says, "I don't know what you're talking, we don't sell those".
The man says, "Yes you do and I want to buy some".
The butcher says adamantly, "We don't sell those sir".
The man says, "I know what I saw, come outside and I will point them out".
"Ok", says the butcher, (thinking "I'll humour the bloke"), "come on outaide and show me".
They both walk outside and look in the window.
The man points to the sign and triumphantly says, "There you are, piss holes"!
The butcher says to him in exasperation, "Sir, that's not a P, that's an R"!

The man says, "Well give me some of your R soles then"!

My dad told me this joke in 1959, and it wasn’t new then.

 

[Grassland Blue]

My dad told me this joke in 1959, and it wasn’t new then.

It deserves an airing every now and then.....
:-)

 

[sir baconface]