Joke thread

[its a Barm]

Surely you can't be serious?

He is and don't call him Shirley

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Fucking bastard.

I’m sat on my balcony listening to some tunes, clicked on this without turning it down and there are people outside looking up at me now like I’m a pervert!

 

[Zuriblue]

Jürgen Klopp was stopped doing 60 on the East Lancs road. When the Police asked him why he was speeding he said that at the moment he’d do anything for 3 points.

 

[Safecracker]

 

[bluethrunthru]

I have no issue with men or women on men dressed as women or women dressed as me or even people who self identify as a fucking wardrobe pissing in the same room as me - but rag be-shirted rags is a line that I will not allow to be crossed

 

[Vic]

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers, 'My son; you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
1, you have to be single, and
2, you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK,' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' said the nun, 'Why are you crying?'
'Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied, and I must confess; I'm married, and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin, and I'm going to a fancy dress party.'

 

[blue44]

christmas on a budget this year

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]