Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

WARNING!!!!

Lavinda was posting again on the pre and post-match threads today. He may be seen on here soon. Brace yourselves!

;-)

 

[Tuearts right boot]

WARNING!!!!

Lavinda was posting again on the pre and post-match threads today. He may be seen on here soon. Brace yourselves!

;-)

Playing hard to get, is he......

 

[sir baconface]

View attachment 147761

Oooh, you little teaser.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I told Mrs Lavinda: "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, there's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do"

She said, "That's an eighties song lyric!"

I said, "I know... I have Toto recall."

 

[Champions again in 2012]

I told Mrs Lavinda: "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, there's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do"

She said, "That's an eighties song lyric!"

I said, "I know... I have Toto recall."

Welcome back

 

[Lavinda Past]

The inventors of the brochure have sadly died

R.I.P Pam Flett and her husband , Lee.

 

[NZBlue]

I told Mrs Lavinda: "It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you, there's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do"

She said, "That's an eighties song lyric!"

I said, "I know... I have Toto recall."

Is Africa by Toto country music?
No it’s continent music.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I think my mate is going to leave his job at BMW.

Even though he hasn't given any indication he will.

 

[Lavinda Past]

White smoke has been seen coming from the Sistine Chapel.

The Pope hasn't died, he's just burning his hard drive.

 

[Lavinda Past]

My mate went fishing with Wayne Rooney.

When he asked him to pass the bait, he gave him a bag of Murray mints and a Neil Diamond record

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just been offered some work with a dried fruit company.

I'm just waiting for them to get back to me with some dates.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I can't take my dog to the park anymore.

The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen.

He's pure bread

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

I can't take my dog to the park anymore.

The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen.

He's pure bread

Right somebody has to ask……

Where were you?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Right somebody has to ask……

Where were you and why in the name of all that is holy, did you come back ?

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[EastStandLower]

View attachment 147761

You're back.
Praise be..

 

[Lavinda Past]

You're back.
Praise be..

 

[Lavinda Past]

A widowed woman is at her husband's funeral, trembling with grief.

When her best friend arrives at the funeral, the widow sees her and says, "Thank you for coming, please give me some comfort."

The friend, knowing that no words could express her sympathy, says nothing but gives the widow a big hug.

The widow says, "Thanks, that was touching."

 

[Lavinda Past]

Mrs Lavinda just got a job as a cuckoo in a massive cuckoo clock at our local shopping centre.

She said it's quite boring but it gets her out of the house.

 

[Lavinda Past]

They're cracking down on "working at height" at my job

Steps will be taken.