Joke thread

[oakiecokie]

Not certain if this has been covered in either this thread or a new one but its apparently true.
The Midland Police Force has released a statement telling their entire workforce not to use the phrase "Laptops" to staff who are under the height of 5`8".
Apparently its been used as a nickname for a Small PC.
I kid you not.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

That wee mouse is a big fucking rat.

Who did he squeal on.

 

[RadcliffeRick]

Who did he squeal on.

His cousin Gary!

 

[Bill Walker]

Blind guy walks into a shop with a guide dog.
He starts spinning around with the dog at the end of its lead smashing all the stuff on the shelves
"What the fuck are you doing" screams the shop owner..

Blind man says "just lookin around"

 

[dickie davies]

I thought this was the joke thread, but it turned out to be the chocolate pun club!

If you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our pun club.

I was hoping the chocolate puns would stop After 8

 

[blue b4 the moon]

I was hoping the chocolate puns would stop After 8

But they're mint.

 

[chris63]

Why the long face

Hey.

 

[bluebc]

Wow. Thats unfunny on a number of levels.

Is number 1 that you’re Irish by any chance ?

 

[Mid Wales blue]

I was hoping the chocolate puns would stop After 8

dickie, your reply was mint!

 

[DrBlueBob]

I was hoping the chocolate puns would stop After 8

You must have living on Mars to think that would happen.