Joke thread

[mad4city]

What do we want?



Bigger placards



When do we want them?



No

See also when the mature students joined the protest:

What do we want?

Gradually change!

When do we want it?

In due course.

 

[JASR]

Finally, a Departmemt of the govt has taken the lead in the fight against crime.
I’m seeing these signs more and more, unfortunately, but they are clearly needed, and give a driver ample time to react and ensure their central locking is on when approaching any area with Liverpool supporters like north wales, Wiltshire and Shropshire.

 

[sir baconface]

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

 

[kippaxneil]

A 73 year old woman has been in court for streaking at the recent Chelsea Flower Show.
She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for Best Dried Bush arrangement.

 

[Three_Hat-tricks]

My Work Coach wasn't very impressed when I turned up pissed for my appointment this morning and told her what kind of job I was looking for.

"Do you really think someone with your credentials could find steady employment as a barrister?"

"Yeah, you get to spend a lot of time at the bar."

 

[noseve]

My friend's wife had been in a coma for 5 months. They'd tried all conventional means and one day the doctor, somewhat embarrassed, called him into his room and explained that there was only one course of action left:
"What would you think about going in and trying some oral sex to get her systems going?"
Surprised, but willing to try anything, my mate agreed.
After 15 minutes he came out of the room shaking his head.
"Sorry Doctor, I had to stop - she was choking."

 

[sir baconface]

See also when the mature students joined the protest:

What do we want?

Gradually change!

When do we want it?

In due course.

And this…

What do we want?

A cure for Alzheimer’s!

When do we want it?

When do we want what?

 

[Vienna_70]

Steady now - there are boundaries, remember...

Is there a point to all these cricket puns that you slip in?

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[noseve]

I had a blind date late night, with a girl called Simile.

You can guess what I metaphor...

 

[Casey69]

New starter at the morgue runs into the office saying the woman who was brought in has got a prawn sticking out of her fanny ! The senior mortician says that’s not a prawn it’s her clitoris!
New starter … well it tastes like a prawn !

 

[bladdered]