Joke thread

[bladdered]

Local Police are hunting a 'Knitting Needle Nutter', who stabbed six people in the arse recently.
They believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.

I'm sure he's pulling the wool over their eyes.

 

[bladdered]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

View attachment 162255

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

At 65 my Grandma started walking 10 kilometres a day.

She’s 92 now and we have no idea where she is.

 

[sir baconface]

At 65 my Grandma started walking 10 kilometres a day.

She’s 92 now and we have no idea where she is.

Ok, anything to help. She is 98,550 km away.

 

[Ohrodneyrodney]

Ok, anything to help. She is 98,550 km away.

But aren’t you assuming she walked in a straight line?

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Ok, anything to help. She is 98,550 km away.

That’s impossible unless she’s gone into space!

 

[noseve]

But aren’t you assuming she walked in a straight line?

If she did, she'd be approx 18000k away now, having circumnavigated the globe twice...

 

[eric pode of croydon]

If she did, she'd be approx 18000k away now, having circumnavigated the globe twice...

So back in the same place then?

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

If she did, she'd be approx 18000k away now, having circumnavigated the globe twice...

You can’t be more than 12800km apart from anyone else on the earth. Granted, drilling through the earth’s core might be a challenge to reach them.

;)

 

[NZBlue]

You can’t be more than 12800km apart from anyone else on the earth. Granted, drilling through the earth’s core might be a challenge to reach them.

;)

Not true in practice. The circumference of the earth is 40,000km in round numbers so the meaningful distance is 20,000km. You can't even say, "but as the crow flies" because last time I looked, crows can't fly through solid rock




















(Yes, I did see the winky face)

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[noseve]

I see a guy in Dublin has invented a gun with three barrels - he's calling it a 'trifle'

 

[noseve]

View attachment 162279

 

[Man-chester copperpot]

What are Kidnappers favourite trainers?

White Vans!

 

[bladdered]

 

[blue44]

 

[kippaxwarrior]