I've probably posted this before but it's my favourite "true story" not a joke as such:
Many years ago a good friend of mine rang me to say his wife had emptied the house they owned and left him for another fella, he was devastated. All his friends including me rallied round him and tried to take his mind off his excruciating pain, this all kicked off on a Thursday.
On the Sunday a few of us including my devastated mate went to watch a Sunday league game, we were driving to the match and he said:
"she's taken everything from the house, I went into the loft today, she's even taken the Christmas Tree, it doesn't look like she's coming back does it?"
One of his best friends replied:
"not before fucking Christmas anyway"
