Joke thread

[southstand117]

3 united fans walk into a bar - a glory hunter, a cockney and a **** - that was just the first one

 

[fredmont]

Two old folk meet and about to have sex for the first time.

Woman says as she is half undressed ' I forgot to mention, I've got acute angina'

Bloke says ' thank god for that coz your tits are horrible.'

 

[jimharri]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

 

[BimboBob]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

 

[davymcfc]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Now that was funny

 

[Phil Meup]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Now that was funny

But a little harsh...

 

[BigJoe#1]

Tonights Self Harmers anonymous group has had to be cancelled due to staff cuts.

And the clairvoyants meeting has had to be postponed due to unforeseen circumstances.

 

[Zuriblue]

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "dry?", he replies "nein, nur eins"

 

[blue b4 the moon]

A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks "dry?", he replies "nein, nur eins"

You got no chance here mate.

 

[jimharri]

My mate just texted me from Glastonbury. He said the entire front row of the Rolling Stones gig got taken to hospital after inhaling copious amounts of deep heat, ralgex and werthers originals.

Did he text you a joke to go along with this news?

Fair point.