Joke thread

[jimharri]

A purple man woke up from his purple bed, put on his purple clothes and ate his purple toast for breakfast. After eating his purple toast, the purple man decided to put his purple clothes on and he grabbed his purple rifle for the purple man decided to go hunting in the purple forest.

The purple man opened his purple door and set out down the purple road with his purple rifle on the way to the purple forest. As he approached the purple forest the purple man missed a purple sign that warned the purple man that hunting was now banned in the purple forest.

Nevertheless the purple man continued into the purple forest with his purple rifle and soon enough he spotted a purple rabbit crouching in front of one of the purple trees. The purple man took aim with his purple rifle and shot the purple rabbit and killed it. As he approached the purple rabbit, the purple man was apprehended by a purple guard who immediately arrested him, put him in purple handcuffs and drove him in his purple car to the purple police station.

When he got there the purple guard explained to the purple policeman that the purple man hand been hunting in the purple forest and had shot a purple rabbit in the purple forest. The purple policeman told the purple man that he would need to spend a night in the purple cells for his crime.

The purple man was escorted down the purple corridors of the purple police station by the purple police officer to his purple cell. The purple police officer turned to the purple man and said.....

"This is where you'll be staying tonight, so Indigo"

Thankyou and Goodnight!

It must be cold where he is; two sets of purple clothes!

It's hard typing that joke out without making a mistake!

Not as hard as reading it though!

;-)

 

[Armitage]

Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!'

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!'

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home.'

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman....

'I cant work in the friggin dark! ' says Murphy.

 

[nw42]

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....





"Try doing it with the engine running."

 

[SteWadda]

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....





"Try doing it with the engine running."

Is that a joke?

 

[nw42]

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....





"Try doing it with the engine running."

Is that a joke?

I think you're the last person to question anyone else's humour http://forums.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=288800 Don't you?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

The world sexual innuendo championships start next week.

I thinking of entering my sister.

Quality

Don't laugh; it's hard being a member of the Innuendo Society!

I see what you did there, even if you didn't.....

 

[supercity88]

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....





"Try doing it with the engine running."

Is that a joke?

I think you're the last person to question anyone else's humour http://forums.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=288800 Don't you?

I almost want to cry after reading that. Very emotional.

 

[nw42]

Is that a joke?

I think you're the last person to question anyone else's humour http://forums.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=288800 Don't you?

I almost want to cry after reading that. Very emotional.

Exactly, the effect of a truly great joke, thanks.

 

[SteWadda]

The Cardiologist and the Honda Mechanic.

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....





"Try doing it with the engine running."

Is that a joke?

I think you're the last person to question anyone else's humour http://forums.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=288800 Don't you?

No I was the first person.

I forgot I posted that, probably thought it was really funny when I posted it yesterday. Must remember to stay off here after the pub.

 

[blueinkwell]

Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, impotent, physicist? He sat up late nights worrying about hadrons.