Joke thread

[hammocity]

.

My old mate was a Mortician and they always pulled that prank on the new starters, I think I’d probably have a fatal heart attack.

 

[hammocity]

The Lone Ranger gets captured by Red Indians, they bury him up the the neck in sand, the Chief says to Lone Ranger, you have one last request, he asks to speak to Tonto privately. They have a whispered chat and Tonto disappears into the sunset, the Chief said you have one hour for your request to happen.

With one minute to go, Tonto appears on his horse with a beautiful naked lady. She dismounts, goes to the Lone Ranger and kisses him, she then put her breasts in his mouth. Finally she wiggles her bush all over the Lone Rangers face, he didn’t look happy, she said “what’s wrong Loney?”

He looks over to Tonto and says:

“For fucks sake Tonto I said go and get me a Posse!”

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

What's the closest thing to silver?





The Lone Ranger's bollocks.

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

What's green, twelve foot long, has six legs, six pockets and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?













A Snooker Table.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]