Joke thread

[kawkav]

Wife texts her husband on a cold winter's morning..........

"Windows frozen?"

Husband texts back.........

"Pour some luke warm water over it"

Wife replies,

"computer completely fucked now"

cracked me up

 

[JoeMercer'sWay]

what's the difference between the taxman and your ex wife?

Taxman leaves you at least 50%.

 

[Phil Meup]

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
-wi jammin'

 

[CTID1988]

Garlic Bread.


No? Me neither

 

[Phil Meup]

Garlic Bread.


No? Me neither

You've got to be Peter Kay to get away with that!
:)

 

[kawkav]

From Sikipedia:

Moyes spent 11 years trying to get Everton above Man Utd and now he's finally achieved it, Well Done.

this is gold

 

[kenzie115]

My mate just rang me and said,"What are you doing at the moment?"

I said, "Probably failing my driving test."

I actually laughed out loud, very good.

 

[mrcunny]

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"

 

[Barcon]

What's the difference between a **** and a fridge?
A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

 

[happy daze]

Jock takes his wife to casualty. Her teeth are missing, her lips and gums are bleeding, her nose is broken, she's got 2 black eyes, one ear is hanging off and big tufts of her hair are missing. The doctor say's 'what has happened to your wife'? Jock replies, 'going through the change.' The doctor say's, 'That doesn't happen when a woman goes through the change', and Jock replied, 'It does when it's in my fucking coat pocket'.