Joke thread

[Norman Stanley Fletcher]

A Mexican magician tells the audience that he will disappear on the count of three .......
He says "Uno ..... dos ....." ...... *poof* .............

He disappeared without a tres.

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[Norman Stanley Fletcher]

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a lobster with breast implants ??

One's a crusty bus station, and the other's a busty crustacean.

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[tshirtman]

There was once a blind skunk who fell in love with a fart.... Trump fact


What do you call a dog crossed with a magician..... Labracadabrador

 

[bucks]

What was that French man called back in the day, the one whose kitchen floor exploded......... Linoleum Blownapart.

 

[taleofbluehalves]

BREAKING: Origami School to close. More on this story as it unfolds.

 

[jimharri]

I got my photo taken with REM the other day. That's me in the corner.

 

[chris63]

Very good jimharri made me laugh :)

 

[kippaxwarrior]

My favourite jokes are about peter pan. Do you know why?

Because they never get old.......

 

[Squelch]

I got all of the Boy Scout badges, but my favourite was 'Car Horn Maintenance'. It went so well with the Scouts' motto: 'Beep Repaired'.

 

[BlueMojito]

Farmer counted 196 cows in his field, when he rounded them up he had 200.

 

[jimharri]

I've got a Blur alarm clock, so I always wake up listening to Park Life, except on Wednesdays when I rudely get awakened by the dustmen....

 

[Sir peace frog]

I sold my guitar to a bloke with no arms recently. I asked him how it was going to work, he replied, 'I'm going to play it by ear'."

 

[taleofbluehalves]

Why can't chickens cross the road without having their motives questioned?

 

[staffs_blue]

2 parrots on a perch. One says to the other "can you smell fish?''


2 fish in a tank. One says to the other "how do you drive this then?"

 

[HellYeah]

Why do women have orgasms

Something else for them to moan about

 

[Gabriel]

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

 

[Brightwell’s left peg]

I have an EpiPen. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

Brilliant

 

[taleofbluehalves]

Don't forget it's the AGM of the weak bladder association tonight. If you can't make it just give us a tinkle...

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Don't forget it's the AGM of the weak bladder association tonight. If you can't make it just give us a tinkle...

;)

 

[BlueS]

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Biggish
Biggish who?
Get a job