Joke thread

Erik ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to.
I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”.Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."Ten Hag: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.
Everybody knows who I am."Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."Ten Hag: "Please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.""
Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”
 
bluebc said:
Erik ten Hag walks into a bank to cash a cheque. As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"Cashier:"It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?"Ten Hag:"Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to.
I am Erik ten Hag, Manager of Manchester United”.Cashier: "Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID."Ten Hag: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you.
Everybody knows who I am."Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr Hag but these are the bank rules and I must follow them."Ten Hag: "Please, I am urging you, please cash this cheque."
Cashier: "Look sir, here is an example of what we can do. One day, Tiger Woods came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Tiger Woods he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Tiger Woods and cashed his cheque.""
Another time, Andre Agassi came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racket and made a fabulous shot where the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his cheque. So, sir, what can you do to prove that it is you and only you?"
Erik stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank...there is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do. I don't have a clue."Cashier: "Will that be large or small notes , Mr Ten Hag?”
Click to expand...
Very good. And welcome back to the jokes.
 
Forward to Wembley at the end of May, Khaldoon and Scruffy Jim are having a piss in the Corporate urinals.

Sheikh says in his best Mancunian accent:

“Alright our kid, how do you think you’ll get on next season?”

Scruffy twat:

“Hopefully we’ll avoid the drop, get past at least one round of the Cup competitions and get a positive goal difference, what do you think City will do?”

“We”ll win the Quadruple, the Club World Cup, Erling top scorer, Rodri the Balon Dor, score over a 100 goals, get over 100 points and Pep will be Manager of the season”

“That’s a bit optimistic isn’t it? says Scruffy Jim

Khaldoon

“well you started it”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
✖
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.