jimharri
Moderator
Once seen, that cannot be unseen.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Once seen, that cannot be unseen.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I bumped into the guy that invented Tippex.
I said, "Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren't you the guy who invented Tippex...?"
I said, "Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren't you the guy who invented Tippex...?"
Should be:” Aren’t you the gyu who inverted Tipecks?”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Many years ago, Belfast zoo got their first tiger and he. Was. Pissed.
Every day he’d pace back and forth in his enclosure, snarling at visitors and every night he’d complain to his neighbour, giraffe.
“I fucking hate it here, I’m going to escape and never come back, just you watch me!”
Well after months of pacing and snarling and failed attempts to jump the gate or climb the walls he finally managed to use his claws to pick the lock on his enclosure and he was free!!!!
“Fuck you giraffe” he yelled as he sprinted out of the zoo
“Fuck you, elephants, I’m out of here!!!!”
And he was gone.
Less than a week later giraffe was woken up by sounds from Tiger’s enclosure, looking over she saw that tiger was not only back but he was dragging heavy objects over to block the door to his enclosure.
“Hullo” said giraffe “what happened to fuck you all I’m gone?”
Tiger flinched and looked round at her and she saw that he looked terrible, his fur was ragged and singed, half his whiskers missing.
Staring at her out of wide, bloodshot eyes Tiger said
“This place might be shite, but you have no idea how bad it is being black AND orange in Belfast!!!!”
Every day he’d pace back and forth in his enclosure, snarling at visitors and every night he’d complain to his neighbour, giraffe.
“I fucking hate it here, I’m going to escape and never come back, just you watch me!”
Well after months of pacing and snarling and failed attempts to jump the gate or climb the walls he finally managed to use his claws to pick the lock on his enclosure and he was free!!!!
“Fuck you giraffe” he yelled as he sprinted out of the zoo
“Fuck you, elephants, I’m out of here!!!!”
And he was gone.
Less than a week later giraffe was woken up by sounds from Tiger’s enclosure, looking over she saw that tiger was not only back but he was dragging heavy objects over to block the door to his enclosure.
“Hullo” said giraffe “what happened to fuck you all I’m gone?”
Tiger flinched and looked round at her and she saw that he looked terrible, his fur was ragged and singed, half his whiskers missing.
Staring at her out of wide, bloodshot eyes Tiger said
“This place might be shite, but you have no idea how bad it is being black AND orange in Belfast!!!!”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
MCFCTrick
Well-Known Member
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Sep 2010
- Messages
- 8,618
- Team supported
- Manchester City
Actually (and yes I'm a fucking pedant, but it's a great fact), it was a woman who is credited with inventing Tippex, and she was the mother of Mike Nesmith from The Monkees.
Bette Nesmith Graham - Wikipedia
Big mals fedora
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 May 2013
- Messages
- 616
Is that a cucumber??…….