Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

A mosquito it cried out in pain,

"A chemist has poisoned my brain!"

The cause of his sorrow

Was para-dichloro

diphenyltrichloroethane.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A limerick packs laughs anatomical

Into space that is quite economical

But the good ones I've seen

So seldom are clean

And the clean ones so seldom are comical

 

[Lavinda Past]

There once was a plumber in Bree

Who was plumbing his girl with great glee.

Said his girl: “Stop your plumbing!

I think someone’s coming!”.

Said the plumber still plumbing: “It’s me!”

 

[Lavinda Past]

I bought some ornamental fish for my pond. Every time I came near they would hide in the reeds.

Turns out they were coy carp.

 

[dickie davies]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
She put them in her garden
And when they were big enough, she had them slaughtered and ate them

 

[Lavinda Past]

When I was younger, I was obsessed with taking surveys.

Thankfully, I came to my census.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Why do milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I'd like to see a world without plagerism

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Lavinda Past,
Posted jokes quite fast,
& never seemed to go away,
Some were a hit,
But some were quite shit,
Christ knows how many they posted today!.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

A young man I know comes from Dublin,
He found the joke thread, really Troublin’
He Came in for a laugh
He’s Still waiting to have,
Waits so long that his chin’s started stubblin’.


I’m off for a shave.