Joke thread

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 130763

How true that is....

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised."What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?" I enquired.

"No...110m hurdles."

 

[Lavinda Past]

Just seen a story in the local paper:

"Graveyard targeted in the night - Passer by saw cheese toasties scattered everywhere".

Police say it's likely the work of Breville worshippers...

 

[Lavinda Past]

I tried crossing a feline with some punctuation.

It was a catastrophe.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I was walking down the street with my wife and she suddenly said "look, there's Justin Welby over there at the bust stop, it's the Archbishop of Canterbury"

I said "nah, it can't be"

She said "go and ask him"

So I went over, and when I came back, she said "well, what did he say ?"

I said "he just told me to fuck off"

My wife said "well, I suppose we'll never know now"

 

[citizen_maine]

I was walking down the street with my wife and she suddenly said "look, there's Justin Welby over there at the bust stop, it's the Archbishop of Canterbury"

I said "nah, it can't be"

She said "go and ask him"

So I went over, and when I came back, she said "well, what did he say ?"

I said "he just told me to fuck off"

My wife said "well, I suppose we'll never know now"

Where is this bust stop?

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Where is this bust stop?

Dunno, but the 38 stops there.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I still remember the day the Dentist removed my braces.

My trousers fell down and he tried to molest me.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A recent RSPB reported a rise in Owl On Owl Violence.

Drive By Hootings.