Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Top 10 reasons why men are lazy:
1)
1)
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure and need a bit of help...
I’ve only got four letters left, but they mean nothing to me:
OVNR.
I’ve only got four letters left, but they mean nothing to me:
OVNR.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
For everyone who said they are coming to our lical bullying support group, it starts tonight at 8:00....
You'd better fucking be there.
You'd better fucking be there.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'm getting really sick of visual humour.
I've had it up to here...
I've had it up to here...
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'm going to a fancy dress party as a sweet shop owner.
I just tried on my outfit and my wife said "go on, give me a twirl then"
I thought bloody hell... this must be really convincing.
I just tried on my outfit and my wife said "go on, give me a twirl then"
I thought bloody hell... this must be really convincing.
A drunken Irishman was walking home late at night from the pub and thought he'd take a short cut across the graveyard. He'd always found the place a bit scary by day but in the full moonlight casting long shadows and the hooting owls and bats it was even worse. Suddenly he heard a harsh scraping noise and it was getting closer and noisier. He gave a sigh of relief as he saw a hunched figure in work clothing planing the sides of the burial cask. The figure turned revealing a grinning skeleton with yellowing fangs screaming "Bastards spelled my name wrong "
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
There was a tap on my front door this morning.
My plumber's got a weird sense of humour.
My plumber's got a weird sense of humour.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, “Father, my dog is dead. Could ya’ be sayin’ a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not, Muldoon; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”
Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Would ya’ be thinkin’ €5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me your dog was Catholic?
Father Patrick replied, “I’m afraid not, Muldoon; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.”
Muldoon said, “I’ll go right away Father. Would ya’ be thinkin’ €5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?”
Father Patrick exclaimed, “Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me your dog was Catholic?
Bovril and Camp coffee are virtually indistinguishable.The counter assistants must think that Bovril is some form of coffee!
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'll never forget what my Grandfather said just before he popped his clogs.
"I wonder what'll happen if I stick a pin in my inflatable Dutch footwear?"
"I wonder what'll happen if I stick a pin in my inflatable Dutch footwear?"