Joke thread

[Sam101]

I would walk 500 miles
(actual mileage may vary)



And I would walk 500 more
(subject to status)



Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles*
(*Estimate only)



To fall down at your door
(Terms & Conditions apply)





- The Disclaimers

 

[kippaxneil]

My Uncle used to get paid fifty pounds an hour just to clean up leaves from people's gardens...he was raking it in.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Tommy runs in to a chemists...."A packet of Pyrex please"
"Don't you mean Durex"?
"No, Pyrex...I've got a date with a hot dish"

 

[Lavinda Past]

My uncle is my mother's brother.

Relatively speaking that is...

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[TinFoilHat]

Deary me, what on earth was he thinking ?

The Scouse Ellen Degeneres.

 

[Sam101]

I asked The Man from Del Monte what his favourite prog rock band was.

 

[bladdered]

 

[hallsteve62]

I asked The Man from Del Monte what his favourite prog rock band was.

Took me a moment!

 

[johnny crossan]

Took me a moment!

Yes - me too!