antspider
Well-Known Member
well i quite liked itBarcon said:
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
You should upgrade or use an alternative browser.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
JULES
Well-Known Member
why did the skeleton burp?
because he hadnt got the guts to fart
because he hadnt got the guts to fart
3 men in a pub. One says, "I think my wife's having an affair with a plumber." "Why?" ask the others. "I found a pipe-bender under the bed."
Second one says, "I think my wife's having an affair with an electrician." "Why?" ask the others. "I found a mains-tester screwdriver under the bed."
Third man says, "I think my wife's having an affair with a horse." "Why?" ask the others.
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
"I found a jockey under the bed."
Second one says, "I think my wife's having an affair with an electrician." "Why?" ask the others. "I found a mains-tester screwdriver under the bed."
Third man says, "I think my wife's having an affair with a horse." "Why?" ask the others.
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
"I found a jockey under the bed."
Squelch
Well-Known Member
My wife has been suffering in this recent cold spell. So much so, that she bought herself a sheepskin burka. Between ourselves, she looks like mutton dressed Islam.
Squelch
Well-Known Member
I got a Wombles pepper mill for Christmas, but I'm taking it back - everything is either underground or overground.
jimharri
Moderator
What a childish, puerile joke.Squelch said:I got a Wombles pepper mill for Christmas, but I'm taking it back - everything is either underground or overground.
I sniggered!
D
D
dronefromsector7g
Guest
My uncle has just retired from military duty because he was the victim of a mustard gas attack.
He's a seasoned veteran.
He's a seasoned veteran.
jimharri
Moderator
A mother, cleaning her son's room, finds an S&M magazine under the bed.
Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband.
"Well?" his wife asks. "What do you think we should do?"
"I'm not sure," the father replies. "But we certainly shouldn't spank him."
Upset, she immediately shows the magazine to her husband.
"Well?" his wife asks. "What do you think we should do?"
"I'm not sure," the father replies. "But we certainly shouldn't spank him."
Zuriblue
Well-Known Member
Father Dave is out fishing with one of his parishioners, when he catches a strange fish. Asking his fellow angler what it is, he's surprised to hear that it's called a Fucker. Yes, yes, it sounds rude but it's the actual name and it's in books and everything. Mollified, he takes it home, after being told that they're delicious.
Visiting him that evening are the local bishop and a Mother Superior. Intrigued by the fish, they help him clean and cook it. When they ask what it's called, he says that it's a Fucker - no, no, please don't be embarrassed, here's a book explaining it all.
Anyway, as they're about to start eating, there's a knock on the door and in comes the Pope, on a surprise inspection. He joins them for dinner and asks what they have just eaten.
"It's a big fucker I caught in the river, your holiness" says father Dave.
"And I cleaned the fucker up" says the Mother Superior.
"And I cooked the fucker" says the bishop.
"You know something?" says the Pope, putting his feet up on the table and lighting a cigarette, "You cunts are alright!".
Visiting him that evening are the local bishop and a Mother Superior. Intrigued by the fish, they help him clean and cook it. When they ask what it's called, he says that it's a Fucker - no, no, please don't be embarrassed, here's a book explaining it all.
Anyway, as they're about to start eating, there's a knock on the door and in comes the Pope, on a surprise inspection. He joins them for dinner and asks what they have just eaten.
"It's a big fucker I caught in the river, your holiness" says father Dave.
"And I cleaned the fucker up" says the Mother Superior.
"And I cooked the fucker" says the bishop.
"You know something?" says the Pope, putting his feet up on the table and lighting a cigarette, "You cunts are alright!".
Squelch
Well-Known Member
Have you been hit with a rhythm stick? You could be entitled to compensation with a personal Ian Dury claim.