Joke thread

[goalmole]

Sky Sports have got the rights to air the world origami championships; the bad news is that it's on pay-per-view

I think you mean paper- view.

 

[the-ecstacy-of-eight]

Sky Sports have got the rights to air the world origami championships; the bad news is that it's on pay-per-view

I think you mean paper- view.

No, I mean pay-per-view, it's a pun, a play on words, the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning, a humorous use of words or phrases so as to emphasize or suggest a different meanings,

Paper-view is what you are supposed to derive from the use of a known phrase, that being pay-per-view. Either way, I think it works, and at least you got it :)

ANYWAY....

Did you hear about the two TV aerials that got married on a rooftop?

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant,

 

[Alex the Blue]

Joe says to Paddy "close your curtains next time you're having sex with your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

Paddy says "well the jokes on them, I wasn't even at home yesterday!"

 

[jamie woods]

The front page of Charlie Hebdo this morning has a picture of the Wealdstone Raider saying "You got no Imams"

 

[city saint]

I was watching womens golf on tv the other day.they were crap at driving but amazing with the irons

 

[goalmole]

Sky Sports have got the rights to air the world origami championships; the bad news is that it's on pay-per-view

I think you mean paper- view.

No, I mean pay-per-view, it's a pun, a play on words, the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning, a humorous use of words or phrases so as to emphasize or suggest a different meanings,

Paper-view is what you are supposed to derive from the use of a known phrase, that being pay-per-view. Either way, I think it works, and at least you got it :)

ANYWAY....

Did you hear about the two TV aerials that got married on a rooftop?

The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant,

Yes, I totally understand that, but to make the pun work it has to be spelt "paper view", you see, paper-origami. Pay per view is actually the normal spelling.
ANYWAY LOL

 

[Alex the Blue]

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favourite sex position. One say's "I think I enjoy the rodeo postion best." "I don't think I've heard of that one" says the other cowboy. "What is it?" Well it's where you get your girlfriend to go down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach round, cup her tits and whisper in her ear, " boy these feel almost as nice as your sister's. You then try and hold on for 30 seconds."

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favourite sex position. One say's "I think I enjoy the rodeo postion best." "I don't think I've heard of that one" says the other cowboy. "What is it?" Well it's where you get your girlfriend to go down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach round, cup her tits and whisper in her ear, " boy these feel almost as nice as your sister's. You then try and hold on for 30 seconds."

I'm ashamed to say, in a drunken grapple many years ago, with the best mate of a previous conquest, I did something similar.
It was like trying to keep a dog in a bath.

 

[Wio Gumflapdinand]

my 16 year old son asked if he could borrow a torch as he was going on a date."i said we didn't take torches on dates when we were young" "I know he said look who you ended up with"

Hang on, back up a bit there.....what the actual fuck is that? Seriously lads you can't get away with posting that shite without getting called on it. Worst of the thread

 

[jimharri]

I was watching womens golf on tv the other day.they were crap at driving but amazing with the irons

The coven on here must have been busy doing the laundry yesterday and haven't yet seen that. When they do, you're dead.