Joke thread

[Beswick Prize Bands Big Drum]

That looks more like an arse.

I think you need to get out more and meet some females.

 

[Bill Walker]

To stop kids looking for their Christmas presents, put them in the loft.

Don't leave them up there too long as they start to cry.

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Kippax77]

View attachment 31670

Chesty Morgan lives on

 

[dobingsdobber]

I think you need to get out more and meet some females.

Nah mate,most of the females I meet have got arses like that.

 

[bluemoon32]

 

[Bill Walker]

View attachment 31673

Is that Ken Barlow ?

 

[Dicko69]

 

[manclad]

Chesty Morgan lives on

"Deadly Weapons"!!!

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Sign outside a cafe..

Beefburgers £1.00
Bacon butties £1.00
Wanks £1.50

Bloke walks in and ask who gives the wanks. The little stunner behind the counter smiled, winked and said " I do "

" Well wash your fucking hands I'll have a bacon buttie "



Bloke walks into a wig shop and asks how much....
" £50.00 plus tax " came the repair

" Here's £40.00, I'll glue it on myself...."

 

[Blue Mist]

Sign outside a cafe..

Beefburgers £1.00
Bacon butties £1.00
Wanks £1.50

Bloke walks in and ask who gives the wanks. The little stunner behind the counter smiled, winked and said " I do "

" Well wash your fucking hands I'll have a bacon buttie "



Bloke walks into a wig shop and asks how much....
" £50.00 plus tax " came the repair

" Here's £40.00, I'll glue it on myself...."

If it was £50 plus tax why did he only give him £40


Just askin'

 

[AlexWilliamsGloves]

If it was £50 plus tax why did he only give him £40


Just askin'

Tax = Tacks

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Tommy_Catons_Perm]

If it was £50 plus tax why did he only give him £40


Just askin'

Perhaps it was basic rate tax relief and he was a basic rate tax payer. (20% of £50 is £10)?

He should have said he was higher rate tax payer, claiming relief at 40% and just paid £30.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

If it was £50 plus tax why did he only give him £40


Just askin'

The first rule when buying a syrup is never accept the sellers first price.

 

[Blue Mist]

Tax = Tacks

No. £50 PLUS tax is £55. or what ever the going rate of tax is.
If the man didn't want tax/tacks he still pays £50.

 

[AlexWilliamsGloves]

:)