Joke thread

[Sam Armstrong]

It’s just a 4 minute walk from my house to the bar. However, it’s a 55 minute walk from the bar back to my house.
The difference is staggering!!

 

[Cellarite]

I was gutted to lose my job at the Pepsi factory... I tested positive for Coke!

Possibly the worst effort on the thread.

 

[JRockBlues]

What do you call a small robot vampire?

Nosferatu-D2

 

[jimharri]

Possibly the worst effort on the thread.

I think I've lost that honour now.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Possibly the worst effort on the thread.

Bollocks. There’s been worse since your post.

 

[Barcon]

Bollocks. There’s been worse since your post.

I don't get it.

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]

 

[jimharri]

Went to the shops yesterday and got bored traipsing around the shops with my wife. She felt sorry for me, so she gave me £10 and told me to go for a drink and meet her at the bus stop in an hour.

I had my drink, then went for a stroll around town but somehow found myself in the red light district. Being curious I, asked one of the girls; "How much"?

The girl replied, "£90 for all the way, £60 for oral or £30 for a handjob."

I told her I only had £10.

She said, “Sorry love, but you won't get much for a tenner."

So I shrugged my shoulders and continued on my way making my way back to meet my wife. While we were sitting together waiting for the bus, the same working girl I spoke to earlier passes by on the other side of the road and recognised me.

She shouts over to me..

"See, I told ya, you wouldn't get much for a tenner"...

 

[BimboBob]

Went to the shops yesterday and got bored traipsing around the shops with my wife. She felt sorry for me, so she gave me £10 and told me to go for a drink and meet her at the bus stop in an hour.

I had my drink, then went for a stroll around town but somehow found myself in the red light district. Being curious I, asked one of the girls; "How much"?

The girl replied, "£90 for all the way, £60 for oral or £30 for a handjob."

I told her I only had £10.

She said, “Sorry love, but you won't get much for a tenner."

So I shrugged my shoulders and continued on my way making my way back to meet my wife. While we were sitting together waiting for the bus, the same working girl I spoke to earlier passes by on the other side of the road and recognised me.

She shouts over to me..

"See, I told ya, you wouldn't get much for a tenner"...

She gave you a tenner for beer and you had a beer. How did you have a tenner to spend on brass?

 

[ColinBellsjockstrap]