Joke thread

[blue44]

View attachment 47530

come on
this is one of my better ones
think about it...

 

[crazyg]

The two prawns from the previous "joke" went to a disco together to reconnect after Christans shark experience.it ended ok as Justin pulled a muscle

Shouldn't that be mussel?

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

come on
this is one of my better ones
think about it...

Chill out and have a beer.

 

[Dogtanian]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office I will find you !

You have my word.

 

[supercity88]

A tourist asks an Irish diving instructor why the divers always fell backwards into the water. The instructor responds "if they fell forwards they'd still be on the feckin boat".

 

[blue44]

Chill out and have a beer.

funny you should say that
cos i'm on my 4th or 5th
back in tomorrow for 6 days till next monday

 

[mrcunny]

I was lay on a nudist beach yesterday and put a hat over my privates to prevent sunburn
A woman walked by and said sniggering if u were a gentleman you'd lift ur hat
I replied if u weren't so ugly it'd lift itself

 

[Sid C]

An old mortuary attendant leaves his young apprentice alone for an hour on his return he asks if everything is alright but the young lad says no there is something wrong with one of the bodies.
He says show me so they pull out one of the drawers, lift the sheet and low and behold there’s a beautiful young women there.
The young lad says
“Look, there’s a prawn stuck out of her fanny”
“That’s not a prawn you idiot, it’s her clitorus”
“Oh. Well it tastes like a prawn”

 

[sir baconface]

An old mortuary attendant leaves his young apprentice alone for an hour on his return he asks if everything is alright but the young lad says no there is something wrong with one of the bodies.
He says show me so they pull out one of the drawers, lift the sheet and low and behold there’s a beautiful young women there.
The young lad says
“Look, there’s a prawn stuck out of her fanny”
“That’s not a prawn you idiot, it’s her clitorus”
“Oh. Well it tastes like a prawn”

Some people can‘t find the clitoris.

Others can‘t spell it.

:-)

 

[Sid C]

Some people can‘t find the clitoris.

Others can‘t spell it.

:-)

I’m clearly both :(

 

[JASR]

To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft office I will find you !

You have my word.

You've really Excel'd yourself with that.
With the right Access, and some Power, Point me at whomever stole it, and i'll get the Teams in and I Azure you, One Drive later, they'll be BSOD'd

 

[blue44]

I was lay on a nudist beach yesterday and put a hat over my privates to prevent sunburn
A woman walked by and said sniggering if u were a gentleman you'd lift ur hat
I replied if u weren't so ugly it'd lift itself

and you started this thread

ask the mods to close it.......

 

[blue44]

An old mortuary attendant leaves his young apprentice alone for an hour on his return he asks if everything is alright but the young lad says no there is something wrong with one of the bodies.
He says show me so they pull out one of the drawers, lift the sheet and low and behold there’s a beautiful young women there.
The young lad says
“Look, there’s a prawn stuck out of her fanny”
“That’s not a prawn you idiot, it’s her clitorus”
“Oh. Well it tastes like a prawn”

if i had posted that as a " meme " or " picture " I'd get another ban.

 

[mrcunny]

and you started this thread

ask the mods to close it.......

Thank you for your compliments..

 

[blue44]

Thank you for your compliments..

shocking joke fella
you needed to be reprimanded

 

[blue44]

good night all

Send Beer

 

[mrcunny]

shocking joke fella
you needed to be reprimanded

Ups and downs mate..Someone once told me lifes like a box of chocolates..

 

[Mid Wales blue]

come on
this is one of my better ones
think about it...

Foxtrot, Uniform, Charlie, Kilo,
Oscar, Foxtrot, Foxtrot!

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Some people can‘t find the clitoris.

Others can‘t spell it.

:-)

He couldn’t find it in the dicktionary.

 

[Uwe Already]

An old mortuary attendant leaves his young apprentice alone for an hour on his return he asks if everything is alright but the young lad says no there is something wrong with one of the bodies.
He says show me so they pull out one of the drawers, lift the sheet and low and behold there’s a beautiful young women there.
The young lad says
“Look, there’s a prawn stuck out of her fanny”
“That’s not a prawn you idiot, it’s her clitorus”
“Oh. Well it tastes like a prawn”

TBF he’s not really a welder…