Joke thread

[CambridgeExileBlue]

One way or another, I'm really going to have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics!

Thinking along parallel lines here.

 

[LWashington]

One way or another, I'm really going to have to stop quoting Blondie lyrics!

I'm glad you've finally rapture head around the problem.

 

[TheBlueDune]

I'm glad you've finally rapture head around the problem.

Call me, I'm hanging on the telephone, Denis!

 

[blue44]

 

[JRockBlues]

What do you hide behind to get away with murder in the USA?

A badge.

 

[Dogtanian]

My dad told me to make little things count?

So now I’m teaching maths to dwarfs.

 

[JASR]

My dad told me to make little things count?

So now I’m teaching maths to dwarfs.

I used to shop at Tesco’s , but had to stop as it got impossible to do anything by myself , as every little helps.

 

[Stuuuuuu]

I used to shop at Tesco’s , but had to stop as it got impossible to do anything by myself , as every little helps.

I think I'm missing something here. Does it involve a bicycle and the exterior of the building?

 

[Kippax77]

I think I'm missing something here. Does it involve a bicycle and the exterior of the building?

Are we back on the dwarf sex thread?

A mate was asking

 

[Dogtanian]

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X.

I don’t know why.

 

[LWashington]

I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X.

I don’t know why.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[Deleted member 77198]

View attachment 48364

Where is it that they call the locals “Cowyheads” because a cow got its head stuck in a fence and the locals chopped the cow’s head off instead of breaking the fence? Sure it’s somewhere in Greater Manchester… somewhere Bolton maybe?

 

[dickie davies]

Where is it that they call the locals “Cowyheads” because a cow got its head stuck in a fence and the locals chopped the cow’s head off instead of breaking the fence? Sure it’s somewhere in Greater Manchester… somewhere Bolton maybe?

Reminds me of when I worked for a confectionery wholesaler
One lad was picking an order and as I saw him, he looked up and told me how hard he was working as on the order was 100 cases of Coca cola
What the daft **** had done was transfer 100 cases from one pallet to another when there were 110 cases to a full pallet

 

[manclad]

Where is it that they call the locals “Cowyheads” because a cow got its head stuck in a fence and the locals chopped the cow’s head off instead of breaking the fence? Sure it’s somewhere in Greater Manchester… somewhere Bolton maybe?

Westhoughton, which to be fair to you is not very far from Bolton.

 

[sir baconface]

Westhoughton, which to be fair to you is not very far from Bolton.

Or Owfen in local dialect.

Norra lorra people know that.

 

[blue44]

 

[bumbleblue]

 

[slick]

 

[BackofJeanette]

 

[roypaulknewmyfather]

Where is it that they call the locals “Cowyheads” because a cow got its head stuck in a fence and the locals chopped the cow’s head off instead of breaking the fence? Sure it’s somewhere in Greater Manchester… somewhere Bolton maybe?

Chequerbent (Westhoughton)