Joke thread

[dobingsdobber]

That tickled me....

Happy to bring a smile in these dark times.

 

[balotellishaircut]

Apparently all schools in Scotland are closed until further notice.

Nothing to do with the Queen, it’s because Prince Andrew has arrived.

 

[LWashington]

Which king could only eat solid foods ?

King Alfred The Grate.

 

[Blue Mist]

To mark the death of our Sovereign, Queen Elizabeth II a number of 21 gun salutes have taken place.
Hyde Park, Edinburgh Castle,
Caernarfon Castle, Cheetham Hill.

 

[roypaulknewmyfather]

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 55351

I'm sorry but there is no way she knows anything about the offside trap let alone football in general.

 

[DrBlueBob]

I'm sorry but there is no way she knows anything about the offside trap let alone football in general.

Is it wrong that I don't care if she does or doesn't?

 

[Blue Mist]

I'm sorry but there is no way she knows anything about the offside trap let alone football in general.

Neither do most of the posters on here but I'd rather wake up next to her than them.

 

[KS55]

I'm sorry but there is no way she knows anything about the offside trap let alone football in general.

No trouble drawing the lines………….she’s permanently offside.

 

[Bozo]

Did you know pigeons die when they have sex?

Well the one I fucked did.

 

[balotellishaircut]

A patient walks into A & E with two black eyes, broken teeth and blood pouring from his nose.

Doctor “ Oh my God how did this happen”

Patient “ Well I was banging my neighbour over her kitchen table, when we heard the front door open”

Doctor “ Then what happen ?”

Patient “ Well then she shouts “ it’s my husband ! Quick try the back door “

“Thinking back, I probably should have ran, but you don’t get an offer like that every day”

 

[JASR]

 

[Stuuuuuu]

Did you know pigeons die when they have sex?

Well the one I fucked did.

I am literally in pain with laughter after reading that!

 

[Deleted member 77198]

Neither do most of the posters on here but I'd rather wake up next to her than them.

Oi, I’m a right looker!

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[bornblueegg]

View attachment 55369

That truck driver, drives on the wrong side of the road