Joke thread

[mikemcfc]

The wife and I were out for a drive this afternoon.
She's says, "Look at that hedge! I can't believe how full and lush it is."
I said "It's one of those funny hedges."
She says, "What does that mean?"
"It's Laurel and hearty."

 

[sir baconface]

People avoid me in the street. I haven’t been to work or seen my kids for 6 weeks.

Is this what it feels like to be a scouser?

 

[sir baconface]

I like my girls how I like my Covid...

...19 and easily spread.

 

[sir baconface]

A Chinese guy stopped me and asked if I wanted to buy any crows.

“Don’t you mean clothes?” I asked.

“No. Come on in and take a rook”.

 

[bluebaja]

A Chinese guy stopped me and asked if I wanted to buy any crows.

“Don’t you mean clothes?” I asked.

“No. Come on in and take a rook”.

Personally, and I have no idea why, I always find jokes based on Chinese/Japanese accents funny.

 

[Xhavenjoe]

ersonally, and I have no idea why, I always find jokes based on Chinese/Japanese accents funn

I sense a chink in your sense of humour

 

[Zubrman]

Personally, and I have no idea why, I always find jokes based on Chinese/Japanese accents funny.

You are Benny Hill and I claim my £4 19s 11d.

 

[DrBlueBob]

Personally, and I have no idea why, I always find jokes based on Chinese/Japanese accents funny.

Zackary syndrome?

 

[bluebaja]

Zackary syndrome?

Ha ! Had to look that up !

 

[BackofJeanette]

When Admiral Nelson died he was 5 ft tall.

His statue in Trafalgar square is 15 ft high.

That's Horacio of 3:1.