Joke thread

[Indaparkside]

My friend said to me What rhymes with orange.
I said no it doesn’t

 

[KS55]

A funny little quiz....

https://antidepressantsortolkien.now.sh/

Got very anxious doing that quiz. Luckily, there was some Gandalf available.

 

[Indaparkside]

Guy goes to the doctors , doctor said what’s up
Guy said doctor I need some medication I’m addicted to Twitter,
Sorry said the doctor I’m not following
You.

 

[BELLENDER]

Just seen my next-door neighbour slumped over his lawn mower crying his eyes out.

I shouted over the fence.. Are you OK, mate ?

Apparently he was fine, he’d just been going through a rough patch..

 

[Sam Armstrong]

Having spent the last 8 weeks faithfully following the Government’s ‘stay at home’ advice and slowly going stir-crazy I’m now seriously thinking of asking my Dad if the childhood offer threatening to “slap me into the middle of next year” is still available!!

 

[Big Swifty]

Just seen my next-door neighbour slumped over his lawn mower crying his eyes out.

I shouted over the fence.. Are you OK, mate ?

Apparently he was fine, he’d just been going through a rough patch..

I saw an AA van driver slumped over the wheel sobbing his heart out. I thought "He's heading for a breakdown"

 

[Zuriblue]

Got very anxious doing that quiz. Luckily, there was some Gandalf available.

Same here. Although I thought the generic name for Viagra was actually Mycoxaflopin.

 

[Bill Walker]

Just been asked to sing a line from Don't Go Breaking My Heart
I said "I Couldn't If I Tried "

 

[dickie davies]

Just been asked to sing a line from Don't Go Breaking My Heart
I said "I Couldn't If I Tried "

You absolute ****!

I've now got to get rid of that fucking shit song out of my head

 

[Bill Walker]

You absolute ****!

I've now got to get rid of that fucking shit song out of my head

Haha