Joke thread

[r.soleofsalford]

A bloke arrives home with a box and hands it to his wife. She says excitedly "Is this for me?" He replies that it is.

She opens the box and pulls out the contents. "What is it?" she asks. "It's an artificial vagina" he replies. "What am I supposed to do with his?" she asks.

"Teach it cook and fuck off."

and I thought the Titanic was old

 

[sir baconface]

A bloke arrives home with a box and hands it to his wife. She says excitedly "Is this for me?" He replies that it is.

She opens the box and pulls out the contents. "What is it?" she asks. "It's an artificial vagina" he replies. "What am I supposed to do with his?" she asks.

"Teach it cook and fuck off."

Whilst admittedly possessing limited knowledge of artificial vaginas, I have doubts about their potential to produce satisfactory culinary results.

I’m pretty sure it was a monkey versed in the art of blow jobs last time I heard this joke.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Whilst admittedly possessing limited knowledge of artificial vaginas, I have doubts about their potential to produce satisfactory culinary results.

I’m pretty sure it was a monkey last time I heard this joke.

I wouldn`t shag a monkey though. Even if it was a good kisser.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I think I've been making Motown puns for about three years, four tops.

 

[JULES]

and I thought the Titanic was old

looks like klopps teeth !

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I think I've been making Motown puns for about three years, four tops.

If you need any help, Reach out I`ll be there.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I told my Jamaican mate Clive that he'd put a lot of weight on during lockdown,
he was very indignant and said, 'Have I fuck!'
So we got the scales out, and it's true.
Black Clive's fatter.

 

[shemnel]

I think I've been making Motown puns for about three years, four tops.

talking of Motown, i hear it's been very cold over there recently - Three Degrees, Four Tops

 

[Ancient Citizen]

talking of Motown, i hear it's been very cold over there recently - Three Degrees, Four Tops

Brilliant!
When will we see you again, when will we share precious moments?

 

[jimharri]

I'm not sure, but I've a feeling someone has probably done that déjà vu joke.