Joke thread

[Big Swifty]

Phil Jones should wear a full facemask, permanently

 

[blue b4 the moon]

Did you hear the one about the VAR official not spotting a two handed save by a defender. Should have gone to specsavers.

Natural position (in some weird dimension)= No joke.

Looking at Sterling's pen forever, VAR giving it correctly & then the studio apparently saying it wasn't, now that's a joke.

 

[JULES]

Three degrees were on Philidelphia International .

Just sayin'

they also recorded for warner bros and swan records

 

[BELLENDER]

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya,

the inventor of the starting pistol.

 

[DrBlueBob]

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya,

the inventor of the starting pistol.

That's genuinely awful but I laughed nonetheless. Sadly my kind of humour.

 

[Mid Wales blue]

Whilst admittedly possessing limited knowledge of artificial vaginas, I have doubts about their potential to produce satisfactory culinary results.

I’m pretty sure it was a monkey versed in the art of blow jobs last time I heard this joke.

Michael Jackson, likes this post.

 

[Paulpowersleftfoot]

I suppose I’m in the minority but I always lick the knife when I’m done.




None of the other surgeons seem to do it.

 

[dickie davies]

Natural position (in some weird dimension)= No joke.

Looking at Sterling's pen forever, VAR giving it correctly & then the studio apparently saying it wasn't, now that's a joke.

I find it incredible how many former pro players do not understand that it does not matter one jot if, when tackling, you touch the ball first before bringing down an opponent
If, after touching the ball (tackling), the ball is still within playing distance of his/her opponent, then it is a foul

 

[jimharri]

Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister, Onya,

the inventor of the starting pistol.

Oi, @Blue Mist; where the fuck are you?

 

[Barcon]

I find it incredible how many former pro players do not understand that it does not matter one jot if, when tackling, you touch the ball first before bringing down an opponent
If, after touching the ball (tackling), the ball is still within playing distance of his/her opponent, then it is a foul

Not remotely funny.