Joke thread

[Aguerooooooo93:20]

 

[lefty goldblatt]

View attachment 63062

He doesn't care.
He should get back to where he once belonged

 

[DrBlueBob]

View attachment 63057

I was conned into trying some meat free burger product by my sister on the grounds that it it was "just as good as the real thing". Both she and her other half seemed offended when, having tried it, I pointed out that it was in no way anywhere near as good as the real thing. In fact the only way it was any good would be if you weren't a meat eater and therefore had limited options, in which case it may be an acceptable offering but please don't tell me that it's something that it so patently isn't.

If they'd said something along the lines of "Try this, it's ok; considering" at least I wouldn't have been led up the garden path by a complete misrepresentation.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

What does Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?

Icy dead people

 

[blue44]

 

[Stuuuuuu]

I was conned into trying some meat free burger product by my sister on the grounds that it it was "just as good as the real thing". Both she and her other half seemed offended when, having tried it, I pointed out that it was in no way anywhere near as good as the real thing. In fact the only way it was any good would be if you weren't a meat eater and therefore had limited options, in which case it may be an acceptable offering but please don't tell me that it's something that it so patently isn't.

If they'd said something along the lines of "Try this, it's ok; considering" at least I wouldn't have been led up the garden path by a complete misrepresentation.

*** TRIGGERED!!! ***

 

[DrBlueBob]

*** TRIGGERED!!! ***

And then some. Guilty as charged.

 

[sir baconface]

 

[BuryBlue1977]

 

[Travellingman]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Jim Tolmie's Underpants]

How does a hippie polygamist count his wives?

1 Mrs Hippie, 2 Mrs Hippie, 3 Mrs Hippie...

 

[Grassland Blue]

View attachment 63151

That aged well....

 

[Dogtanian]

The wife just asked me whether I love football or her the most...

I said, "Open your legs and I will show you."

So I nutmegged her!

 

[Nellies left peg]

 

[Plays By Sense Of Smell]

This super hero runs him close


View attachment 56899

Was his Dad, Jor-Ex?

 

[Dogtanian]

Be extra careful on the roads with Christmas just around the corner…

A lot of men will be drinking and getting their wives to drive!

 

[BackofJeanette]

How ships get their name!

 

[Sam Armstrong]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

Talking about advent calendars just bought a Liverpool one only realised when I got home all the windows are boarded up

Advent calendars won't be around much longer...their days are numbered.