Joke thread

Just bought a wicked game for the XBox. Its about a dark bloke who drives round shagging whores, using violence involving metal bars, crashing his car and evading police...
It's called Tiger Woods PGA Tour 12
 
My mate walked in on me wanking to a video on his laptop. 'Grandmother fucks young stud'.
"You're sick, why are you watching that?!", he shouted.
"It was on your laptop you hypocrite", I argued, "How come you're allowed to enjoy grandma porn but I'm not?!"
"Because its YOUR fucking grandma!"


......................


My doctor just told me I need help because I'm a compulsive liar . . . And then she locked the surgery door and sucked me off.
 
ellibb said:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No idea! (no eye deer)

I know, time to get my coat

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?




Still no idea

Pick my coat up whilst your at it ;)
 
MCFCpassion said:
ellibb said:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No idea! (no eye deer)

I know, time to get my coat

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?




Still no idea

Pick my coat up whilst your at it ;)

love it

what do you call a 3 legged donkey

a wonky donkey

what do you call a 3 legged donkey with only one eye

winky wonky wonky donkey

what do you call a 3 legged donkey with only one eye that just farted

stinky stonky winky wonky wonky donkey

what do you call a 3 legged donkey with only one eye that just farted whilst it was playing the piano

plinky plonky stinky stonky winky wonky wonky donkey
 
MCFCpassion said:
ellibb said:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No idea! (no eye deer)

I know, time to get my coat

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?




Still no idea

Pick my coat up whilst your at it ;)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs shagging another deer?

Still no fucking idea.

mine too.
 
2sheikhs said:
A man walks into his daughters bedroom and sees her masturbating with a cucumber. He says "you dirty little woman. I was going to eat that later......it'll taste of cucumber now". (The likes of Laurent Charvet might find it funny. To everyone else, I apologise).
A female bodybuilder goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I've grown a penis because I've taken too many steroids".
Doctor:" Anabolic?"
Woman: "No, just a penis".

How dare you. I don't even like cucumber.
 
Write a book about tying up a girl and you have a best seller....do it in real life and your daughter changes her surname from Fritzl....
 
Laurent Charvet said:
2sheikhs said:
A man walks into his daughters bedroom and sees her masturbating with a cucumber. He says "you dirty little woman. I was going to eat that later......it'll taste of cucumber now". (The likes of Laurent Charvet might find it funny. To everyone else, I apologise).
A female bodybuilder goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, I've grown a penis because I've taken too many steroids".
Doctor:" Anabolic?"
Woman: "No, just a penis".

How dare you. I don't even like cucumber.

i PREFER MARROW MYSELF...
 
mindmyp's_n_q's said:
MCFCpassion said:
ellibb said:
What do you call a deer with no eyes?



No idea! (no eye deer)

I know, time to get my coat

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?




Still no idea

Pick my coat up whilst your at it ;)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs shagging another deer?

Still no fucking idea.

mine too.

What do you call an Aardvark that's just had it's head kicked in ?......... a vark
 

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