Joke thread

paphos-mcfc said:
Paddy & Mick swap sandwiches at work....
Paddy spits it out & says "wot the bloody hell was on that?"
Mick replies "Crab Paste."
Paddy says "where did u get that?" Mick replies" Saw it on offer when I was in the chemist !!!
Click to expand...

ARF !!

-- Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:28 pm --

theinvisibleman said:
Old Macdonald has Tourettes, ee aye, ee aye, fuck!!
Click to expand...

Old macdonald had dyslexia k d k d z.


What did hitler say his men before they got into their tanks??

"get in your tanks men"

What did mrs Hyshida say to her kamikazi pilot husband husband before he took off..
"be careful love"
 
I rang Babestation the other night and the woman said, "Hi sexy, what can i do for you?"
I said "Fucking hide, my wife's coming and i've lost the remote!"
 
My wife just bought herself a new orange dildo.
She said 'it looks like a giant carrot!'
Which is ironic as her fanny looks like a donkey yawning
 
As I lay in bed I felt a hand slowly reach into my boxers and start to play with my
balls and stroke my cock. It was nice but I wasn't in the mood.
''Not tonight, I whispered, with a contented smile, ''I'm tired''
''It doesn't fucking work like that in here,''
whispered my cellmate.
 
What a load of bollocks it is about women multi tasking.
I've just told the wife to sit down & shut the fuck up. . .
 
Dont you just hate it when you're driving along, smoking a cigarette, you flick your cigarette out of the window, and you drive for a couple more miles and then you smell something funny, then you look over into the back seat and Grandmas' fingering herself again!
 
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