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I didn’t know he could play cricket
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Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman. "Fair enough" says the boss.
"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99".
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a little smudge on each tree... "Ere you go".
The boss scratches his head and says "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99".
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100".
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says "Ere you go. One hundred".
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers "A little dog come along and poops by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
Here is your first question, the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman. "Fair enough" says the boss.
"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99".
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a little smudge on each tree... "Ere you go".
The boss scratches his head and says "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99".
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100".
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says "Ere you go. One hundred".
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers "A little dog come along and poops by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
Barcon
Well-Known Member
33 1/3" is my favourite measurement.An Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said.
"Without using numbers, represent the number 9". "Without numbers?" The Irishman says? "Dat is easy". And proceeds to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asks.
"Have you got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9" says the Irishman. "Fair enough" says the boss.
"Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99".
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a little smudge on each tree... "Ere you go".
The boss scratches his head and says "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99".
The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100".
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says "Ere you go. One hundred".
The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!"
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers "A little dog come along and poops by each tree.
So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!"
RadcliffeRick
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 27 Oct 2011
- Messages
- 9,108
- Location
- Kuala Lumpur Via Radcliffe
- Team supported
- Manchester City since 2008 Chelsea before that :-)
And speed??33 1/3" is my favourite measurement.
LWashington
Well-Known Member
And speed??
Nah that's 78.
Barcon
Well-Known Member
It is. It has surpassed 45.And speed??
imrebanana
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 Feb 2008
- Messages
- 1,007
As if this year couldn’t get any worse....Chris Rea‘s car has failed its MOT.
Nebuchadnezzar
Well-Known Member
As if this year couldn’t get any worse....Chris Rea‘s car has failed its MOT.
I can't wait to see those faces.....
Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
As if this year couldn’t get any worse....Chris Rea‘s car has failed its MOT.
not so bad he doesn’t have to drive home for Christmas, he been home for weeks now!
Barcon
Well-Known Member
I guess you have to know who Chris Rea is?