Joke thread

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[bluemoon32]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[kippaxneil]

My neighbour has just told me that every time his doorbell rings, his dog goes and sits in the corner.
It would though...it's a boxer.

 

[blue wang]

My neighbour has just told me that every time his doorbell rings, his dog goes and sits in the corner.
It would though...it's a boxer.

I bought a dog from a locksmith, when I got home he made a bolt for the door.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 98432

Cheered me up for the day

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

Cheered me up for the day

Glad to be of service mate :)

 

[MCFC68]

 

[JRockBlues]

A German, Italian, and Czechoslovakian go on a hunting trip together, but end up getting eaten at their campsite by a pair of bears, one female, the other male.

Subsequent autopsies of the bears found that the German and Italian hunters were in the female bear while the Czech was in the male.

 

[dobingsdobber]

Which English king was often heard to say: "What,now?"

Ethelred the Unready.

 

[KS55]

A German, Italian, and Czechoslovakian go on a hunting trip together, but end up getting eaten at their campsite by a pair of bears, one female, the other male.

Subsequent autopsies of the bears found that the German and Italian hunters were in the female bear while the Czech was in the male.

My report is in for typing.
i promise not to c……

 

[Bigg Bigg Blue]

 

[Green18]

As a bus driver when I am having a bad day I look at the passengers in my rear view mirror when I am driving and mutter to myself ”you are all a bunch of knobheads aren't you?” and then tap my brakes twice so they all nod….

 

[balotellishaircut]

FFS I have just accidentally swallowed one of my cats worming tablets. Don’t ask meow.

 

[blue44]

 

[LWashington]

Which English king was often heard to say: "What,now?"

Ethelred the Unready.

Which English king was often heard to say : "I don't care if you're dyslexic that's 1000 shillings fine."

King Cnut.

Which English king was often heard to say : "I don't care if you're dyslexic that's 500 shillings fine."

King Harthacnut

Which English king was often heard to say : "Health scare over, I was just bunged up by some leaves."

Alfred the Grate.

 

[Cellarite]

As a bus driver when I am having a bad day I look at the passengers in my rear view mirror when I am driving and mutter to myself ”you are all a bunch of knobheads aren't you?” and then tap my brakes twice so they all nod….

Fesshole.