Hayley Croppers chopper
Well-Known Member
Take a bow mate, two excellent puns
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
JRockBlues
Well-Known Member
Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.”
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now…
She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed.
My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals ........very much.
I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal’s office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
Today, my teacher asked me to tell her what famous person I admired most.
I told her, “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now…
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
My local pub is bit rough... The first question in the pub quiz was, "What the fuck are you looking at?"
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
After a morning of working opposite the wife, that's cheered me up no end.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
A guy goes into the costume shop and says
I've been invited to a fancy dress night , but look at me , I've got a complete bald head and a wooden leg ! Any suggestions?
The owner said yes , I've got a long John silver costume here its perfect for you , the hat will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg it's perfect , great says the guy , how much is that ? £250 says the shopkeeper ,
Oh way too dear says the man ,anything cheaper ? Well said the shopkeeper there's this , a Rasputin the mad monk outfit , its a big long habit with a hood , so with it being long nobody will see your wooden leg and the hood will cover your bald head , that sounds good says the guy ,how much is that ? I can let you have that for £100 says the shopkeeper,
I can't afford that says the guy , far to expensive !
Well how much can you afford says the shopkeeper? About £10 says the guy , well says the shopkeeper with only a tenner I suggest you go to tescos , buy a tin of treacle , pour it over your bald head , stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple
I've been invited to a fancy dress night , but look at me , I've got a complete bald head and a wooden leg ! Any suggestions?
The owner said yes , I've got a long John silver costume here its perfect for you , the hat will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg it's perfect , great says the guy , how much is that ? £250 says the shopkeeper ,
Oh way too dear says the man ,anything cheaper ? Well said the shopkeeper there's this , a Rasputin the mad monk outfit , its a big long habit with a hood , so with it being long nobody will see your wooden leg and the hood will cover your bald head , that sounds good says the guy ,how much is that ? I can let you have that for £100 says the shopkeeper,
I can't afford that says the guy , far to expensive !
Well how much can you afford says the shopkeeper? About £10 says the guy , well says the shopkeeper with only a tenner I suggest you go to tescos , buy a tin of treacle , pour it over your bald head , stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Was at a party last night and my girlfriend got really drunk and told everyone that she invented the echo.
I said “Will you listen to yourself?"
I said “Will you listen to yourself?"
Alan Harper's Tash
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
- Messages
- 61,597
Jokes seem to have gone back to the 70s, without any stereotyping!
dronefromsector7G
Well-Known Member
I was in a clothes shop and I picked out a really nice shirt, then I went over to the woman standing by the changing rooms. "Mind if I try it on?" I asked. "No, go ahead." I said, "You've got great tits, fancy a shag?"
