Joke thread

[Grumpyman]

 

[Blue Mist]

I bought the wife a dyson vacuum cleaner one christmas and I have never heard the end of it.
For her next birthday I bought her a diamond tennis bracelet. She returned it and bought three patio umbrellas.

You da man, a Dyson vacuum for Christmas, brilliant the closest I can come to that was before we were married we went to the pub, I asked the soon to be very lucky one what she wanted to drink. She said surprise me,
I got her a glass of water.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[goalmole]

A fat bird walks by a pet shop and a parrot shouts, "oy you".
She says, "what?", the parrot shouts "yer a fat ugly woman!"
She storms away raging. The next day it happens again. So she goes in and tells the owner if it happens again that shes telling the police.
So the next morning she walks by and the parrot shouts "oy you!"
She says, "what?".
The parrot shouts "you fucking know what!"

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

You da man, a Dyson vacuum for Christmas, brilliant the closest I can come to that was before we were married we went to the pub, I asked the soon to be very lucky one what she wanted to drink. She said surprise me,
I got her a glass of water.

With your drink buying history I can well believe that

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]