Joke thread

[Akpowell]

I asked my German friend if he knew what the square root of 81 was. He said no.

The oldens are the best

 

[Barcon]

.

 

[jimharri]

The oldens are the best

You are Wayne "Wazza" Rooney, and I claim my prize.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Got a taxi to the launderette. Cost me £30… I felt like I'd been taken to the cleaners!

 

[sir baconface]

Got a taxi to the launderette. Cost me £30… I felt like I'd been taken to the cleaners!

Just seen your new (?) location. Good one :)

 

[Marklr]

There was inflatable boy that lived in an inflatable house on an inflatable street with inflatable friends that all went to the inflatable school. One day, just for a laugh the inflatable boy took a pin to the inflatable school but was caught by the inflatable headmaster who told him: "Not only have you let yourself down but you've let the school down, your friends down, the street down, the.........."

 

[dickie davies]

 

[dickie davies]

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

View attachment 18451

Funnier the first time.

 

[Zubrman]

Funnier the first time.

Probably hit on the head by a cricket ball a few times before 1974, :(

 

[wagonman]

Some horrible yobs wearing United shirts were kicking a hedgehog around just outside my house.

I rushed out to stop the cruelty when I realised the hedgehog was 3-1 up...

JJ

 

[sir baconface]

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Some horrible yobs wearing United shirts were kicking a hedgehog around just outside my house.

I rushed out to stop the cruelty when I realised the hedgehog was 3-1 up...

JJ

Load of pricks. And on the hedgehog.

 

[manclad]

Load of pricks. And on the hedgehog.

Q.What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Range Rover?
A.The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside!!!

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Q.What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Range Rover?
A.The hedgehog has the pricks on the outside!!!

A toothpick saw a hedgehog. “Wow, a bus” it said

 

[dickie davies]

Some horrible yobs wearing United shirts were kicking a hedgehog around just outside my house.

I rushed out to stop the cruelty when I realised the hedgehog was 3-1 up...

JJ

The joke is

Playing football with a hedgehog
Not kicking a hedgehog

 

[dickie davies]

 

[bluemoon32]

You'd think that without their shells snails would be a lot faster. But it only makes them more sluggish.

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Blue Mist]

There was inflatable boy that lived in an inflatable house on an inflatable street with inflatable friends that all went to the inflatable school. One day, just for a laugh the inflatable boy took a pin to the inflatable school but was caught by the inflatable headmaster who told him: "Not only have you let yourself down but you've let the school down, your friends down, the street down, the.........."

The Vicar of fuckin Dibley wants her joke back.