Joke thread

[Marklr]

The Vicar of fuckin Dibley wants her joke back.

Is that where it's from? One of my kids told it me. Still...who makes up their own jokes?

 

[dickie davies]

The Vicar of fuckin Dibley wants her joke back.

It reminded me of the brown paper kid joke

 

[RadcliffeRick]

It reminded me of the brown paper kid joke

Was that the same as the brown paper cowboy who got arrested for rustling??

 

[dickie davies]

Was that the same as the brown paper cowboy who got arrested for rustling??

That's the one

 

[Mid Wales blue]

I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he has had, he started to count but fell asleep

Zzzzzzzzz

 

[wagonman]

The joke is

Playing football with a hedgehog
Not kicking a hedgehog

Thanks for the correction...

These points are important...

JJ

 

[jimharri]

If you think the concept of your phone, laptop and Alexa gizmo spying on you is scary, that's nothing; that vacuum cleaner in your house has been gathering dirt for years.

 

[ysmsa]

What has Ole and erectile disfunction got in common?

Both need Pele

 

[Bill Walker]

Boris has just put every country on the green list that voted for us in Eurovision

 

[Petethemancinleeds]

A scotsman ( gove) and yorkshireman ( clarkson) meet in a bar in porto....

 

[Bill Walker]

The wife's just thrown a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me , now I'm suffering super fish oil injuries

 

[balotellishaircut]

Just finished reading an excellent book called “Fights on a Narrowboat” by R.G. Bargee

 

[dronefromsector7G]

I was getting on really well with this girl from work, so I asked her, "How would you like me to take you back to my place for a drink and a bit of fun?" She said, "That's out of the question this week. I'm on my cycle!" I said, "That's ok. I'll follow you in my car!"

 

[mat]

What's the difference between Ryan Giggs and a Tesla?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year.

 

[manclad]

Just finished reading an excellent book called “Fights on a Narrowboat” by R.G. Bargee

Argy Bargy is a great 1980 album from New Wave band Squeeze.

 

[manclad]

I was getting on really well with this girl from work, so I asked her, "How would you like me to take you back to my place for a drink and a bit of fun?" She said, "That's out of the question this week. I'm on my cycle!" I said, "That's ok. I'll follow you in my car!"

The punchline should be -
"That's out of the question this week,I'm on my MENSTRUAL cycle!"

 

[balotellishaircut]

Argy Bargy is a great 1980 album from New Wave band Squeeze.

Wow your going back a few years there man, gotta say I do like Squeeze, favourite song Tempted.

 

[manclad]

Wow your going back a few years there man, gotta say I do like Squeeze, favourite song Tempted.

Mine is "Black coffee in bed".
Although I do think Tempted is a great song, particularly the vocals of Paul Carrack.

 

[Bill Walker]

Q - What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?
A - They both suck without cream.

 

[Ancient Citizen]

Yes, it's a Strange Brew.