Joke thread

[Fred_Quimby]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

 

[Mid Wales blue]

And why a doctors instead of a vet?

Obviously, the Vet wouldn’t know what blancmange is!

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

I was trying to solve the puzzle all through the night...then it dawned on me.

 

[crazyg]

My star sign is Pirex
I was a test tube baby

Were your first words "Daddy is a wanker?"

 

[Uwe Already]

Me and my flat chested wife went to see a marriage counsellor today.

The counsellor asked us; "What seems to be the problem?"

"Well," I said, "Dolly Parton here thinks I'm too sarcastic."

I told my wife she had no tits and a really tight fanny, she said “get off my back”

 

[RobMCFC]

Last week I went to dinner with a chess grandmaster. The only problem was that the table cloth had a checked pattern and it took him 2 hours to pass me the salt.

 

[sir baconface]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[blue44]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[blue44]

 

[sir baconface]

 

[dickie davies]

 

[Indaparkside]

My wife and i were very happy for 40 years, and then we met

 

[sir baconface]

 

[Fiftyyearsandcounting]

My wife and i were very happy for 40 years, and then we met

I didn't know what happiness was 'till I got married...then it was too late.

 

[nellyonthewing]

Some gypsies stole my neighbours front gates .I said "why didn't you say anything"- he said " I was worried they'd take offence".

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Some gypsies stole my neighbours front gates .I said "why didn't you say anything"- he said " I was worried they'd take offence".

Name something that feels British but isn't?
The contents of the British Museum.
Pay attention gypsies ...that's how it's done proper