Joke thread

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

déjà vu

Bill has admonished me for deja vu ing. I doubt he will do it again as that would be deja vu.

forums.bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk

 

[dronefromsector7G]

Where's that thread about shite jokes?

 

[Nihilist]

United is going to win the PL

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Sam Huxley (@samhuxley) Tweeted:
This is 27 seconds of remarkable television.

Tipping Point, the gift that keeps on giving. https://t.co/AMzZ8obJMR

Maybe not a joke but funny all the same

 

[Mozzer]

Sam Huxley (@samhuxley) Tweeted:
This is 27 seconds of remarkable television.

Tipping Point, the gift that keeps on giving. https://t.co/AMzZ8obJMR

Maybe not a joke but funny all the same

Unbelievable.

 

[Barcon]

Great joke but surely you need to adapt it for your audience:-

An ugly as fuck, thick as shit bloke walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. "Where did you get that?" asks the bar barman. "Old Trafford" says the parrot "there's thousands of the fuckers!"

As somebody that doesn't have a fucking clue what an ORC is, thank you.

 

[MellowJoe]

Sam Huxley (@samhuxley) Tweeted:
This is 27 seconds of remarkable television.

Tipping Point, the gift that keeps on giving. https://t.co/AMzZ8obJMR

Maybe not a joke but funny all the same

I've seen every episode of the Simpsons and even I don't know the answer, give 'em a break

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

I've seen every episode of the Simpsons and even I don't know the answer, give 'em a break

It’s rice pudding.

You‘re welcome.

 

[Two Gun Bob]

Pick your thread with care Billy : /

 

[MelbourneBlue]

Sam Huxley (@samhuxley) Tweeted:
This is 27 seconds of remarkable television.

Tipping Point, the gift that keeps on giving. https://t.co/AMzZ8obJMR

Maybe not a joke but funny all the same

We have this show on in the afternoons here in Australia and, is it just me, or does the host hug the contestants wayyy too much (especially the attractive girls).
Very cringeworthy and creepy

 

[Xhavenjoe]

It’s rice pudding.

You‘re welcome

Very good.
Thats more like "Only Connect" than "Tipping Point"

 

[dickie davies]

 

[Xhavenjoe]

We have this show on in the afternoons here in Australia and, is it just me, or does the host hug the contestants wayyy too much (especially the attractive girls).
Very cringeworthy and creepy

Ben Shephard is not as cuddly on the football ball pitch.
First player to be sent off in SoccerAid.

 

[blue44]

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

View attachment 28951

Think it says “Naughty, naughty, very naughty.”

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

I'm gonna be turning my lights off this Halloween and pretending I'm not in.

Fuck the ships. My lighthouse, my rules.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

"Come into the bedroom and I'll show you a good time," I said to the wife. When she came up I showed her pictures of me and my mates before I met her!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

My local pub had a £100 prize for the best dressed halloween outfit last night.

The wife won it. She wasn't happy though. She only came to pick me up.

 

[Nellies left peg]

Ben Shephard is not as cuddly on the football ball pitch.
First player to be sent off in SoccerAid.

Still a slimy **** though

 

[Bill Walker]

My partner says I'm immature and that we should set aside a day so that we can talk like adults.

Like thats going to happen in the middle of conker season....