Joke thread

Back in the 80's, a car transporter pulls up out side the home of Nelson Mandela. The driver unloads 6 brand new Datsun Sunnys. Mandela rushes out of the house and asks the driver what the hells he's doing. The driver says "All I know is that when I arrived for work this morning, the boss said deliver these to Nelson Mandela", maybe they're a gift"
A furious Mandela calls the boss at the transport depot and demands to know what's going on. The boss explains "What a stupid driver, I told him to deliver the cars to Nissan Main Dealer"
 
It's the late 70s - the punk era. In a rough punk club in Bradford a rough punk lad chats up a rough young tart and takes her back to his dog rough bedsit for a spell of hot sex action. After minimal foreplay they both strip off and just before the act he inserts a Sex Pistols tape to enhance the mood whilst simultaneously reaching for a condom

The music starts up.

She cries "Ere is that Johnny Rotten!"

He responds "Naw. I've only used it twice before"
 
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This isn't a joke as such it is a true story..... a lesbian couple are suing the NHS over lack of fertility treatment.
One of the women is called Megan Bacon-Evans.
Now I assume her partners surname is Evans which makes Megan's dad have one hell of a sick sense of humour.

Damn just googled it, she was called Megan Evans so fair play to her for having the sense of humour.
 
Have you seen these websites where you can find out your pornstar name? The deal is, you take your first pet's name and then you combine it with the name of the first street you lived on..
Turns out mine is Fluffy Fuckface

I grew up on Fuckface Lane
 
Paddy walks up to this fat bird standing at the bar an says, hell I'd give you one..... She says piss off I wouldn't go with you if you were the last man on earth, to which he replies...... Whoa hold on love I was giving you fekin marks out of ten.
 
Bill Walker said:
Paddy walks up to this fat bird standing at the bar an says, hell I'd give you one..... She says piss off I wouldn't go with you if you were the last man on earth, to which he replies...... Whoa hold on love I was giving you fekin marks out of ten.
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Goodness, have I time travelled back to the 1970's?
 
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