Joke thread

[Barrablue]

She was only the sat navs man's daughter but she could tell one when one will arrive

She was only the pox doctor's daughter but she knew the men who mattered

 

[LWashington]

She was only the car mechanic's daughter,
but she knows where his big end's gone.

 

[dronefromsector7G]

 

[nw42]

I sent my hearing aid back to the manufacturers over a month ago and have not heard anything since !

 

[lefty goldblatt]

Mods
Please feel free to take off, if "improper"

 

[JRockBlues]

A young lad goes into his local sports shop in Oslo. "Do you have the latest Liverpool home shirt in stock?" he asks.

"Certainly," came the reply from the assistant "Which one would you like. The one the players wear or the one the referee wears?"

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

A young lad goes into his local sports shop in Oslo. "Do you have the latest Liverpool home shirt in stock?" he asks.

"Certainly," came the reply from the assistant "Which one would you like. The one the players wear or the one the referee wears?"

Love it

 

[balotellishaircut]

My girlfriend is a dwarf and just lately she’s become really down because she thinks people are making fun of her,

tonight I’m going to make a real effort to cheer her up, I’ve bought flowers, chocolates and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink.

 

[Indaparkside]

My girlfriend is a dwarf and just lately she’s become really down because she thinks people are making fun of her,

tonight I’m going to make a real effort to cheer her up, I’ve bought flowers, chocolates and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink.

You can’t call them dwarfs now their little people

 

[Norbert D]

My wife left me due to my obsession with cricket - it really knocked me for six…

I heard her say you were lousy in bed, she was tired of no balls…

 

[manclad]

You can’t call them dwarfs now their little people

PORGs if you don't mind please.
(Person Of Restricted Growth)!!

 

[manclad]

What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea ??




I've never had a lentil on my face !!!!

 

[ysmsa]

 

[Daz-Simp]

You can’t call them dwarfs now their little people

Vertically diverse.

 

[Uwe Already]

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival has been cancelled.

Organisers were unable to agree if The Jam or Cream should go on first!

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[dickie davies]

 

[Groke]

My girlfriend is a dwarf and just lately she’s become really down because she thinks people are making fun of her,

tonight I’m going to make a real effort to cheer her up, I’ve bought flowers, chocolates and I’m going to run her a nice hot sink.

My mum and dad were dwarves, all their lives they struggled to put food on the table.


Stu Francis (not the grape crushing one)

 

[balotellishaircut]

My mum and dad were dwarves, all their lives they struggled to put food on the table.


Stu Francis (not the grape crushing one)

Started reading this and thought you were serious until I read the punchline at the end :)

 

[Tuearts right boot]

You can’t call them dwarfs now their little people