Joke thread

Bill Walker said:
A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job.

The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience ?'

The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.'

The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job.

His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how

Many sales did you make today ?'

The Aussie said 'One !'

The manager groaned and continued, 'Just one ? Our sales people average 20

Or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for ?'

The Aussie Answered '£124,237.64. Pounds'

The manager choked and exclaimed '124,237:64 POUNDS !!

What the hell did you sell him ?'

'Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then

I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing

And he said down at the coast, so I told him he would need a boat, so we

Went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat.

Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, soI took him

Down to car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Suzuki'.

The manager, incredulous, said 'You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to

Buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a 4x4 ?


'No no no......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his lady friend
And I said.........

'Well, since your weekend's buggered, you might as well go fishing.'
Click to expand...
Circa 1972 that one. Nearly as bad as:

Young lad goes in the Chippy,

“A fucking fish and a fucking bag of chips you ****”

Owner,

“young man, that is not how you ask for an order, I’ll show you how to do it, take my place behind the counter”

Owner,

“Good evening Sir, I would like a fish and a bag of chips please”

Lad,

“Fuck off you ****, you wouldn’t serve me”.
 
Big Swifty said:
What connects Prince Andrew with Kylie Minogue?



"Kylie Minogue" is an anagram of "I like 'em young"


Allegedly
Click to expand...
I came home from the doctor the other day. The wife asked how I got on.
Beaming a smile I held out a piece of paper and said ‘Look he gave me a prescription for Daily Sex’

She said ‘What? Give me that’.

Eamo. This says you’re dyslexic, she says.

Not smiling now.
 
Glad to find a pinny in the holiday cottage this year. I don’t like washing up without a pinny on. That’s a matter of a pinny on, of course
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Unread Posts

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top