Joke thread

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 126330

Someone.....


.....anyone !!

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[ray21]

Jane McDonald sculpture in Wakefield.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[maccieblue]

When I was a young lad we had a tin bath (that bits true btw) so on a Sunday night I'd share a bath with my dad in the front room. I pointed to his nether regions a

No 4 imp

View attachment 126321no 4 impossible to say ,no extra hot chilli sauce on my kebab thanks

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'

'Eight', the boy replied.

The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'

The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[sir baconface]

View attachment 126331

Place the beer bottle into a bucket of liquid carbon dioxide and wait 60 minutes. Take a firm hold of the bottle and whip it off your member in one quick movement. There will be a popping noise but don’t worry about that. This works every time.

 

[JASR]

Place the beer bottle into a bucket of liquid carbon dioxide and wait 60 minutes. Take a firm hold of the bottle and whip it off your member in one quick movement. There will be a popping noise but don’t worry about this.

Sage advice by sir ‘eunuch’ baconface there.

 

[KS55]

View attachment 126428

Many a true word…

 

[bladdered]

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Lavinda Past]

My girlfriend got a shitty haircut and she’s crying.

I don’t know what she’s crying about, I’m the one that has to get a new girlfriend.