Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
kippaxneil
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 May 2007
- Messages
- 316
Just bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands whilst in the Trafford Centre.
Well, I say 'bought'...I actually stole it off a short, fat, ginger kid.
Well, I say 'bought'...I actually stole it off a short, fat, ginger kid.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
PIZZA GUY: Your total is £26.50
**ME:** I can’t afford that
**PIZZA GUY:** Well.... you’ll have to find some other way to pay...
**ME: [takes out wallet]** Wait... I forgot I still had £30.
**PORN DIRECTOR:** Cut! [throws script on the floor]
**ME:** I can’t afford that
**PIZZA GUY:** Well.... you’ll have to find some other way to pay...
**ME: [takes out wallet]** Wait... I forgot I still had £30.
**PORN DIRECTOR:** Cut! [throws script on the floor]
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
What's the difference between Eric Clapton and Ronnie O'Sullivan...?
One plays an electric guitar and the other a cue stick.
One plays an electric guitar and the other a cue stick.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I tripped up over a box of Kleenex and had to go to hospital for x-rays.
Fortunately it was just soft tissue damage.
Fortunately it was just soft tissue damage.
johnny crossan
Well-Known Member
756K views · 12K reactions | A classic Brian Clough story We need Crossley on ASAP #brianclough #premierleague #football #podcast #FCBULLARD | FC Bullard
A classic Brian Clough story We need Crossley on ASAP #brianclough #premierleague #football #podcast #FCBULLARD.
www.facebook.com
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
People get confused converting kilograms into pounds. It's simple.
Take the weight you want to convert, say 1.7kg, and google what it is in pounds.
Take the weight you want to convert, say 1.7kg, and google what it is in pounds.
JRockBlues
Well-Known Member
So, I came across a homeless person the other day, begging on a street corner. Being in a giving mood, I offered him a choice between $10, or a giant sandwich. The guy looked at the money, then the sandwich, the money again and the sandwich again.... Then all of a sudden he screamed, and ran off. I was stunned for a moment but then suddenly realized...
Beggars can't be choosers.
Beggars can't be choosers.
johnny crossan
Well-Known Member
1.3M views · 16K reactions | This was a star-studded BBC advert for the TV Licence made in 1986. Although the variety / quality of shows may have changed since, I can’t help but... | By Man Behaving Dadly | Facebook
This was a star-studded BBC advert for the TV Licence made in 1986. Although the variety / quality of shows may have changed since, I can’t help but...
www.facebook.com
johnny crossan
Well-Known Member
three in a row - Brian Clough again
www.facebook.com
1.2M views · 16K reactions | The legend that was Brian Clough | Alive & Kicking
The legend that was Brian Clough
www.facebook.com
johnny crossan
Well-Known Member
one more - Gazza on the Rags
www.facebook.com
1.8M views · 10K reactions | Comedy Gold Is Gazza #paulgascoigne #gazza #footballbanter #manchesterunited #rooney #cantona #ryangiggs | The Boom Doctor
Comedy Gold Is Gazza #paulgascoigne #gazza #footballbanter #manchesterunited #rooney #cantona #ryangiggs
www.facebook.com
Tuearts right boot
Well-Known Member
Brilliant.
bluethrunthru
Well-Known Member
Mancini Manus Domini
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
- Messages
- 1,769
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A little boy was waiting for his mother outside the ladies’ room of the petrol station.
As he stood there, he was approached by a man who said, "excuse me young man, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street take the first left turn and and then the next right. It's a big building on the left."
The man thanked the boy, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new vicar in town. If you and your mother come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy laughed and replied, “You must be joking... You can't even find the bloody Post Office."
As he stood there, he was approached by a man who said, "excuse me young man, can you tell me where the Post Office is?"
The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street take the first left turn and and then the next right. It's a big building on the left."
The man thanked the boy, complimented him on how bright he was and said, "I'm the new vicar in town. If you and your mother come to church on Sunday, I'll show you how to get to Heaven."
The little boy laughed and replied, “You must be joking... You can't even find the bloody Post Office."
Mid Wales blue
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 30 Jan 2017
- Messages
- 4,887
My next door neighbours converted 1kg into pounds, and now they’re doing 8 years in the nick!