Joke thread

[Bri1975]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Sam101]

I can’t believe how rude the suppository help line was!

 

[Sam101]

Finally watched The Imitation Game about Alan Turing and the Enigma machine.

I’d never realised his sister, Kay, made all the lunches.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[Sam101]

We've got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to the sounds of '80s synth pop.


Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark

.

 

[Lavinda Past]

We're going to visit a llama farm tomorrow.

I don't know if they do food there, so alpaca lunch before we go.

 

[hammocity]

View attachment 137793

I've lived in Ashton all my life but I'm ashamed of the state of what was a thriving town had become, it's now a cess pit of inhumanity.

I live on the border of Mossley in a decent area but after my visit to the town centre last week I'll not be going again, the state of the people that frequent that area is something to behold, proper shithole, sorry for going off topic.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

Finally watched The Imitation Game about Alan Turing and the Enigma machine.

I’d never realised his sister, Kay, made all the lunches.

And his polish uncle Lec was always telling him what to do,
His brother Tex was good if you wanted rough plaster on the wall,
His nephew Punc was always letting things down,
His Aunty Sculp was always making things & his Dad Frac was always breaking things.
(sorry im a bit bored atm)

 

[blue b4 the moon]

I've lived in Ashton all my life but I'm ashamed of the state of what was a thriving town had become, it's now a cess pit of inhumanity.

I live on the border of Mossley in a decent area but after my visit to the town centre last week I'll not be going again, the state of the people that frequent that area is something to behold, proper shithole, sorry for going off topic.

We've spoken before about this, as an ex-Ashtonian I was back in the town centre for almost a full day last year....it's all gone very depressing.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

We've got an aviary at home, but one of our birds of prey will only exercise at night to the sounds of '80s synth pop.


Our kestrel manoeuvres in the dark

.

You and Lavinda should get on well

 

[Tuearts right boot]

And his polish uncle Lec was always telling him what to do,
His brother Tex was good if you wanted rough plaster on the wall,
His nephew Punc was always letting things down,
His Aunty Sculp was always making things & his Dad Frac was always breaking things.
(sorry im a bit bored atm)

What about his Gran.

 

[J.G.Blue.]

What about his Gran.

His name was Turing not Touring :-)

 

[hammocity]

We've spoken before about this, as an ex-Ashtonian I was back in the town centre for almost a full day last year....it's all gone very depressing.

It is mate, spending a fortune just now on the Market but it'll still be full of thieving scrotes and undesirables.

 

[Lavinda Past]

You and Lavinda should get on well

I'm a big fan of Sam's work. I'd like to that my success on here inspired him...

 

[Tuearts right boot]

His name was Turing not Touring :-)

I stand corrected.

 

[Bill Walker]

I've lived in Ashton all my life but I'm ashamed of the state of what was a thriving town had become, it's now a cess pit of inhumanity.

I live on the border of Mossley in a decent area but after my visit to the town centre last week I'll not be going again, the state of the people that frequent that area is something to behold, proper shithole, sorry for going off topic.

Wow, that bad ?
It used to be a great place in the 70s. Shopping etc.

Who's to blame?

 

[hammocity]

Wow, that bad ?
It used to be a great place in the 70s. Shopping etc.

Who's to blame?

When Roy Oldham was the gaffer at the council, even though he was not universally liked he ran the Council as a business, my mate used to Chauffeur him around and really rated him as a Businessman even though he headed the Labour contingent. Since he died the muppets on the Council don't have a clue.

Got to be careful what I say, don't want to upset the looney left but allowing too many immigrants in to add to our own scrotes, low level housing, people unwilling to work, many on benefits has brought a big problem to town. However, the Wetherspoons, Bowling Green Pubs that open at 9:30 are always busy and other cheap boozers fill up during the day, there's more ride on buggy's and walking sticks than you'd see at Dignitas, we call them Benefit Sticks, it's a proper shit hole.

 

[bladdered]

 

[bladdered]

If you can't find the book you want, you're probably shopping at the...